~Iliamna's Quest~


Pain - what a topic, hmmm?

I chose to put down my thoughts on pain for a variety of reasons - but I think mostly because of the number of people I see in pain out there. I'm talking about emotional pain, not physical.

In "real-life" you see only the masks people choose to wear. Unless you know someone well, the mask typically hides emotional pain. For example, most people see me as being strong, happy, friendly and "normal" in real-life .. and yet, I have gone through an incredible amount of emotional pain in the past couple of years (due in most part to a friend's suicide and my father's battle - and subsequent death - with cancer). We wear these masks in order to be able to handle our everyday lives. The masks are for our own benefit as much or more than they are for everyone else's benefit.

But on the internet, you see pain daily. There are still masks and deceptions, but the pain comes through more freely due to the anonymity of the internet. People can show their hurt and vulnerable sides and - if faced with ridicule or scorn - can simply go to another internet chat site or turn the computer off. No one has to see those tears or feel the misery. So a person is "safer" when sharing pain online.

People deal with pain in a variety of ways. Some dissolve in weeping and ask for sympathy from others; some hide it inside, unable to deal with it, where it sits and festers; and some lash out in anger at others for reasons completely unrelated. Pain has to be dealt with. If you don't work through it, it will continue to haunt you. And I believe that the amount of pain, and the duration, is relative to the depth of the emotional tie. Some hurt lasts forever, in some degree. Other pain is felt sharply for a short time and then disappears and leaves not even a twinge.

If you don't have a friend or family member to confide in, you need to find someone to talk to. Pain held within only seems to get worse, and often bursts out at unexpected times. Talking about your feelings, letting those feelings vent, will help you move into a more healing mode.

And know that time is often the only true healer.

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